Humor
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat.
He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television.
She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear.
Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."
A man walks into a Doctor's Office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"Whats the matter with me?", he asked.
"You're not eating properly", replied the Doctor.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a resturant and sat down to order.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger got the horse some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel alot better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the resturant to finish ordering.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts in and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,...
"Nothin' - but you left your Injun runnin'."
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.
He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
"God", he said, "How long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To Me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."
The Millers were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Miller made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No expensive extras, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Miller turned to his wife..."Show him your tooth, Honey."
He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."
So she drove the boat to shore.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television.
She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear.
Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."
A man walks into a Doctor's Office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"Whats the matter with me?", he asked.
"You're not eating properly", replied the Doctor.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a resturant and sat down to order.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger got the horse some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel alot better."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the resturant to finish ordering.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts in and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,...
"Nothin' - but you left your Injun runnin'."
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.
He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
"God", he said, "How long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To Me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."
The Millers were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Miller made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No expensive extras, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Miller turned to his wife..."Show him your tooth, Honey."
